Balance

This week Abby and I had an appointment in Dallas where she was offered a modeling contract with an agency. I'm bouncing back and forth through all the emotions that I think are normal for this situation: excitement, pride, nervousness, amazement, and thankfulness.

But in the midst of all this chaos, I have had only one thought running circles in my head and my heart: Abby is beautiful.

Oh, of course I've always known she was cute, but I'm her mom. And let's be honest, sometimes mothers aren't the best judges. But now there's this worldly affirmation that she's pleasing on the eyes. And to be honest, it terrifies me.

I realize that I have to find a way to raise her and teach her and guide her into walking a very fine line.

Yes, I want her to always know that she's beautiful. To have that self-confidence I've always lacked. But I don't want her to focus on it. I don't want it to be her downfall.

I've always thought that the most beautiful women are the ones who are that way unknowingly. I want Abby to be that woman. To describe herself as spunky. Independent. Smart. Loving. Faithful. Honest. All the things she is that have nothing to do with how she looks.

It's going to be a long road. I'm open to advice. And prayer.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Soaking It Up

We took advantage of the beautiful weather and had a picnic. Soft grass, crazy squirrels, some sticks, and a few huge trees all conspired to make Abby happy.

This is what a picnic escape looks like:

And if anyone out there knows who this beautiful bride is, let me know and I'll send her this picture. Abby looked up, saw her and screamed, "There is Sleeping Beauty!!!"

You still have God, and God is all.

"The richest nation in the world is America. We think we're in a recession, but still cars are coming out longer and bigger and looking more like juke boxes than ever. And there's more money in more bank accounts. They may make deductions from your paycheck, but after they've taken out everything you can think of, still the average fellow has more money than he used to."

"If you take the kingdom of God and His righteousness, God will add money to you- as much as you need. If you take the kingdom of God and His righteousness, God may send your way learning and art and music and other legitimate earthly loves. God may send it all to you and let you have it. But it is always with the understanding that He can take it away again and you won't grumble. You still have God, and God is all."

These words by A. W. Tozer seem to be directed at the world we're living in today. The author died in 1963. It never ceases to amaze me that the human condition is the same today as it was in each previous generation.

Kitchen Happiness

Two wonderful things found their way onto my counter tops today.

A ladybug (which made me believe that cold weather may finally be done) and some Sprinkles cupcakes (which just made me hungry).

A good day to hang out in my kitchen.

Future Gardener

The little one absolutely loves plants and flowers and dirt in general. We went to the Ft. Worth Botanical Gardens on Friday and I had to stop her from digging in all the flower beds.

Since I know personally how it feels to love plants and yet only be capable of killing them, I'm hoping she has inherited Granny's green thumb.

Facebook Overload

UNT just sent out an alumni email. The reason for the email? To let us all know that, "Starting today, you can receive your University of North Texas exclusive announcements, browse career and networking opportunities without ever leaving Facebook."

Everyone catch that? The without ever leaving Facebook part?!

I'm a fan of Facebook. I've wasted plenty of time there. I've reconnected with old friends. I've seen where old boyfriends are now and felt glad that I'm not with them. And I've pretended to know people just to up the friend count on my profile.

But after a few hours, I've always left Facebook. I didn't know there was an option to stay there forever.

This announcement makes me feel that Facebook has lost a little of its coolness. It's like running into your parents at your favorite high school hang out. If only the establishment was more selective. But then, I probably wouldn't have gotten in either.

Taste Buds

Abby awoke from her nap today and happened to notice a can of Pringles beside me on the couch. In case you are unaware, my child is a chip eating fool. She really can't eat just one. In fact, she always requests them in sets of three.

The only problem with her loving chips is that I love chips more. I try to eat them secretly but Abby always finds me. I'll be pretending to put clothes away in my closet, with the light off, and suddenly the door will fly open and there will be that little face. And with the face comes the words, "Mommy, I want three chips please." And to add insult to injury, she sticks out her tiny hand and shows me three perfect fingers.

But today I may have found the solution to my problem. You see, I bought Salt & Vinegar chips this time.

When Abby's eyes lit on that beautiful blue can, I selflessly said, "Mommy would give you a chip, but you won't like that type."

She looked up at me with a face that clearly said, "I wasn't born yesterday," and proceeded to pop the top.

Oh, I was nervous. I was fearful that Abby might eat them just to spite me. I was sweating it as she peeled back the paper that I'd left slightly attached. Drops of sweat beaded across my head when she peeked into the container.

But the moment I saw the aroma hit her nose, a smile burst across my face! She physically moved away from the can. Her eyes watered slightly. And best of all, she yelled, "YUCK!" as she hurried to replace the lid.

Sharing is sometimes overrated.

Field Trip!

Today was a great day for the zoo. So we packed up and headed to the animals. Well, two of the animals were traveling with us. Here are a few highlights:

Both Cate and Abby were happy to see the swans.

This sleepy bear seemed to be Cate's favorite.

A lion cub made Keri and me pretty happy. Look how fluffy and soft he looks! And yes, he is chewing a bone.

Cate seemed to be on the lookout when we were near birds. Totally understandable.

Abby and I absolutely loved watching this otter shoot through the water. (Ha! a rhyme!)

This pink guy was used as bait to get Abby near the exit. As in, "Let's go see the flamingos!"

And apparently being pushed around in a stroller is exhausting.

Life with Abby

This morning our darling child chose to wake up at 5 am. I say chose because since she did not go to bed until 10 last night, there's no way she woke up unintentionally. After trying to convince her that snuggling in the dark is a good thing, and that no, we can not read a dinosaur book when the sun is still sleeping, she went clomping around the house on her own. And yes, we let her. Because we've reached the point where we are willing to rid our house of anything nice, or economical baby-proofing as I like to think of it, so that she can roam free while we drift in and out of consciousness. As I tried to make just one eyelid lift a fraction of a centimeter, I heard Abby stomp through part of the house and say very loudly, "Oh! That's the stinky part! Lets take the other path." Did I jump out of bed to identify the "stinky" issue she'd found? Was I concerned about my child spending time alone near an unknown substance? Nope. All I did was shut my eye (only one was opening anyway) and think, "Stinky?! There's something stinky out there? I am absolutely not getting out of bed now. No way."

Just wanted to let you know that I'm removing my name from the mom of the year race. And for those of you who are concerned about the stink, it turned out to be a tiny piece of avocado that had fallen on the floor. Definitely not a reason to get out of bed.

The Desert

Those of you that know me well know that I've been wandering in the desert for a while now. It seems like I've been walking in circles and wondering where exactly the trail out can be found. It hasn't been a horrible experience, I've certainly had worse sojourns here, but it has been a time of internal solitude and a feeling of emotional isolation. There has been an eerie silence during my times of prayer. And I don't find it coincidental that a definition of solitude is "a lonely place (as a desert)".

All that to say that this morning I was reading in Psalms. And I ended up in Psalm 78. It's basically a summary of all the times that God's people turned from Him, or tested Him, or didn't trust in Him, and how He responded. Amazingly, the majority of the time His response was mercy. In reading this, a very specific section spoke to me. And it isn't a section about escaping the desert.

Here are these people in the desert, recently saved from their enemies, and God has actually made water flow from a rock to satisfy them. And here is their reaction:

¹⁹Then they spoke against God;
They said, "Can God prepare a table in the wilderness?
²⁰"Behold, He struck the rock so that waters gushed out,
And streams were overflowing;
Can He give bread also?
Will He provide meat for His people?"
²¹Therefore the LORD heard and was full of wrath;
And a fire was kindled against Jacob
And anger also mounted against Israel,
²²Because they did not believe in God
And did not trust in His salvation.
²³Yet He commanded the clouds above
And opened the doors of heaven;
²⁴He rained down manna upon them to eat
And gave them food from heaven.
²⁵Man did eat the bread of angels;
He sent them food in abundance.

So what about this history text broke me this morning? The fact that God was leading these people through the desert in order to reach a better land, and they were nothing but selfish and ungrateful. God brought forth water from a rock and yet they demanded more. They tested Him and questioned His abilities and His love.

I don't want to be like that. I'm going to trust that this desert is just a bridge to a better place. And more importantly, while I'm in this place, I'm going to spend some time being thankful for where I've been, where I am, where I'm going, and the water flowing from that rock. No bread or meat necessary.

Happy Valentine's Day!

This little girl is giddy with excitement about tomorrow. Hope you too enjoy the day with childlike enthusiasm!

The babies are coming! The babies are coming!

There are a ton of babies due to arrive late this spring. Although most of the little ones won't be seen until April or May, a dear friend has been put on bed rest with no guarantee that baby Caiden won't arrive much sooner than expected. So after quite a bit of time perusing fabric and contemplating gifts, today I managed to make a diapers/wipes case and a coordinating pacifier puff (thanks Keri!). And big brother Campbell needs something of his own while waiting to meet the new little man, so there is a crayon roll headed his way.

Crazy Kid

Most of you think Abby is a cute, sweet, calm child. You even think her birthday songs are just quirky. As much as we tell you otherwise, you refuse to believe us when we say she is often crazy. Oh sure, she does a great job of staying calm in public but she's faking you guys out. We know it. She knows it. It's about time you know it.

Last night Matt and I decided to get some proof that she's slightly off. So here is about 2 minutes of the 30+ minute routine that happened in our living room. Totally on her own. No provoking or leading. No interaction of any type in fact. Just pure untainted Abby.
(Mute the music at the bottom of the blog first.)

If I have a few free hours, I'll try to transcribe it for those of you who don't speak Abbyguese. But I can tell you that yes, she is saying "Please don't take it personally, but I am scared of you." Phrase courtesy of a Halloween Backyardigans from 3 months ago. The rest of the song, "When I'm knocking on the door..." is all her own composition.