up close and personal

Last Sunday Matt Chandler's message concerned self righteousness and self loathing. A week has passed and I still can't get it out of my head. I never thought that I had a problem with self loathing until I listened to him speak. Apparently the millions of times that I've compared myself with other women, godly women, and thought, "if only I was as good as her at ..." has been my own form of self loathing. I have this image of what a truly beautiful godly woman looks and acts like, and it involves being soft spoken, meek, unassuming, endlessly patient and a natural beauty-- all the things I lack. It's a little ironic because I realize that if I actually had each of those qualities, then I'd probably have a huge issue with self righteousness.